Six weeks since my baby died

Today marks six weeks. Six weeks since Killian died. As of tomorrow, he will have been gone longer than he was here. It’s surreal. It’s raw. It opens up some of those deep wounds that had begun to start to heal. I have missed my baby longer than I didn’t. I’ve look at his pictures … Continue reading Six weeks since my baby died

The depth of love after death

They say that you never really know how strong love can be until you have a child. I think that’s true. Once I had my boys I didn’t think that it would be possible to feel that love anymore than I did. Until I lost one of them. Don’t get me wrong, when you lose … Continue reading The depth of love after death

Sick Kids Hospital

The nurses at Sick Kids. Say this to the parents of children who have had extended stays at the hospital, and you’ll hear a lot of the same words. Kind, dedicated, loving, family. Aside from their unbelievable knowledge and abilities, these are the qualities that make nurses so very special. And so under appreciated. These … Continue reading Sick Kids Hospital

The club no one wants to be apart of

This evening I was putting my youngest down for bed. Since I’ve been home from Toronto, he’s needed me to rock him to sleep again. Being only 2 years old, all he knew is that I was suddenly gone. And now I’m home, so he’s clinging to me like a life preserver. As I was … Continue reading The club no one wants to be apart of

The day my baby died – October 15, 2018

Our little Bean is gone. Killian died, fighting like hell, at 11:45 this morning. Dean and I were with him through the fight, and were able to hold him for his last few minutes. It all happened very quickly. We’ve been with him today, and just said our goodbyes. Thank you to every single person … Continue reading The day my baby died – October 15, 2018