Going back to his home

Yesterday we went back. Back to the only place Killian ever lived. The place where I spent every moment with him. The place where he lived his short life. The place where he died.  Dean and I went back to Sick Kids. We went to see the people who spent his life with him. That … Continue reading Going back to his home

Finding some peace in Grief

Have you ever had strange occurences, things that keep popping up?  These instances can easily be chalked up to coincidence.  Our cynical human nature seems to push us in that direction.  We think that its good luck or just wishful thinking.  Maybe thats true.  I don't think we'll ever really know, until we move on … Continue reading Finding some peace in Grief

Six weeks since my baby died

Today marks six weeks. Six weeks since Killian died. As of tomorrow, he will have been gone longer than he was here. It’s surreal. It’s raw. It opens up some of those deep wounds that had begun to start to heal. I have missed my baby longer than I didn’t. I’ve look at his pictures … Continue reading Six weeks since my baby died

The depth of love after death

They say that you never really know how strong love can be until you have a child. I think that’s true. Once I had my boys I didn’t think that it would be possible to feel that love anymore than I did. Until I lost one of them. Don’t get me wrong, when you lose … Continue reading The depth of love after death

Guilt after the death of a child

Guilt is such a powerful emotion. It can literally consume you if you let it. It will sneak up and make your stomach turn to ice. That anxious, creeping feeling makes it’s way up from your belly, through the shoulders, into your throat, and then into your head. It can literally make my lips tingle … Continue reading Guilt after the death of a child