I am more than a Mom

I am a mom. I love being a mom. And I consider myself a pretty good one (despite my consistent ability to burn grilled cheese). I love my children with every inch of my heart. The ones beside me, and the ones that are not. But that’s not all that I am. Losing my son, … Continue reading I am more than a Mom

The depth of love after death

They say that you never really know how strong love can be until you have a child. I think that’s true. Once I had my boys I didn’t think that it would be possible to feel that love anymore than I did. Until I lost one of them. Don’t get me wrong, when you lose … Continue reading The depth of love after death

Guilt after the death of a child

Guilt is such a powerful emotion. It can literally consume you if you let it. It will sneak up and make your stomach turn to ice. That anxious, creeping feeling makes it’s way up from your belly, through the shoulders, into your throat, and then into your head. It can literally make my lips tingle … Continue reading Guilt after the death of a child

Infant and child loss…I am 1 in 4.

When people look at me they see a lot. Some may thing I look nice. Some may think I look unapproachable and cold. Some may think I look like I have all my shit together. Some may think I look like a hot mess. Funny, crazy, confident, strange, friendly, cold. When you look at anyone, … Continue reading Infant and child loss…I am 1 in 4.

Grief is like a rollercoaster

I clearly remember being younger and watching movies, or reading books, that something terrible happens in. Something traumatic. And I remember thinking to myself that I didn’t think I could survive something like that. That, for example, my child ever died, I would curl up in my bed and never get out. That I would … Continue reading Grief is like a rollercoaster