That last hour

It’s 130 am. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, that last hour keeps replaying. Over and over. Like a song on the radio that you just can’t stand to hear one more time. I want to change the channel, because I’m tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally tired. But I can’t. There’s no … Continue reading That last hour

The depth of love after death

They say that you never really know how strong love can be until you have a child. I think that’s true. Once I had my boys I didn’t think that it would be possible to feel that love anymore than I did. Until I lost one of them. Don’t get me wrong, when you lose … Continue reading The depth of love after death

Sick Kids Hospital

The nurses at Sick Kids. Say this to the parents of children who have had extended stays at the hospital, and you’ll hear a lot of the same words. Kind, dedicated, loving, family. Aside from their unbelievable knowledge and abilities, these are the qualities that make nurses so very special. And so under appreciated. These … Continue reading Sick Kids Hospital

Guilt after the death of a child

Guilt is such a powerful emotion. It can literally consume you if you let it. It will sneak up and make your stomach turn to ice. That anxious, creeping feeling makes it’s way up from your belly, through the shoulders, into your throat, and then into your head. It can literally make my lips tingle … Continue reading Guilt after the death of a child

The club no one wants to be apart of

This evening I was putting my youngest down for bed. Since I’ve been home from Toronto, he’s needed me to rock him to sleep again. Being only 2 years old, all he knew is that I was suddenly gone. And now I’m home, so he’s clinging to me like a life preserver. As I was … Continue reading The club no one wants to be apart of