The depth of love after death

They say that you never really know how strong love can be until you have a child. I think that’s true. Once I had my boys I didn’t think that it would be possible to feel that love anymore than I did. Until I lost one of them. Don’t get me wrong, when you lose … Continue reading The depth of love after death

Guilt after the death of a child

Guilt is such a powerful emotion. It can literally consume you if you let it. It will sneak up and make your stomach turn to ice. That anxious, creeping feeling makes it’s way up from your belly, through the shoulders, into your throat, and then into your head. It can literally make my lips tingle … Continue reading Guilt after the death of a child

The club no one wants to be apart of

This evening I was putting my youngest down for bed. Since I’ve been home from Toronto, he’s needed me to rock him to sleep again. Being only 2 years old, all he knew is that I was suddenly gone. And now I’m home, so he’s clinging to me like a life preserver. As I was … Continue reading The club no one wants to be apart of

When a Dad loses his child

We always talk about Moms when we talk about losing a child. How unimaginable it must be for us. It really is indescribable. Whether we had the privilege of being able to carry that baby while it grew, or we became that tiny humans Mom through another avenue, we are their Moms. Moms are often … Continue reading When a Dad loses his child

Infant and child loss…I am 1 in 4.

When people look at me they see a lot. Some may thing I look nice. Some may think I look unapproachable and cold. Some may think I look like I have all my shit together. Some may think I look like a hot mess. Funny, crazy, confident, strange, friendly, cold. When you look at anyone, … Continue reading Infant and child loss…I am 1 in 4.