To Killian, Love Mom

Dear Killian. Hi my sweet baby. I feel you around me so much. I feel your presence. I feel your sweet little spirit in so much that I do. You are my fox, my guide. You’ve taken my compass of life and completely spun it. Like a magnetic field. It’s still spinning and I’m not really … Continue reading To Killian, Love Mom

That last hour

It’s 130 am. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, that last hour keeps replaying. Over and over. Like a song on the radio that you just can’t stand to hear one more time. I want to change the channel, because I’m tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally tired. But I can’t. There’s no … Continue reading That last hour

The never ending tide of Grief

They say time heals all wounds...I don’t know who “they” are, but they got it wrong. Time does not heal all. Just like all the heart warriors battling this beast, we as parents have deep and angry scars. To say we will heal is a flat out lie. We’ll patch and bandage and medicate, but … Continue reading The never ending tide of Grief

Grief…an unpredictable jerk

Man oh man, grief is unpredictable. It's such a learning process. Just when you think you're starting to get the hang of it, it will throw you for a loop. Grief hits you in waves, check. Grief is different for everyone, check. You will start to find a new normal, check. Expect to feel disconnected … Continue reading Grief…an unpredictable jerk

Guilt after the death of a child

Guilt is such a powerful emotion. It can literally consume you if you let it. It will sneak up and make your stomach turn to ice. That anxious, creeping feeling makes it’s way up from your belly, through the shoulders, into your throat, and then into your head. It can literally make my lips tingle … Continue reading Guilt after the death of a child