Six weeks since my baby died

Today marks six weeks. Six weeks since Killian died. As of tomorrow, he will have been gone longer than he was here. It’s surreal. It’s raw. It opens up some of those deep wounds that had begun to start to heal. I have missed my baby longer than I didn’t. I’ve look at his pictures … Continue reading Six weeks since my baby died

Guilt after the death of a child

Guilt is such a powerful emotion. It can literally consume you if you let it. It will sneak up and make your stomach turn to ice. That anxious, creeping feeling makes it’s way up from your belly, through the shoulders, into your throat, and then into your head. It can literally make my lips tingle … Continue reading Guilt after the death of a child

Talking about grief, changing the stigma

Talking about grief. It’s not inspirational or even very positive, but it’s reality. Just like death and love, It’s something that everyone will experience in their life. Some grief is more overwhelming and encompassing than others. But we all deal with it to some degree. Since Killian died, I’ve been working so hard on trying … Continue reading Talking about grief, changing the stigma

Maybe grief is just love, with no where to go

One thing I’ve heard over and over the last 3 weeks is that “everyone grieves differently”. I’ve heard this from family, friends, staff from Sick Kids, and most importantly, other parents who have lost children. There’s no book on how to grieve a child, or anyone for that matter. There’s no right way or wrong … Continue reading Maybe grief is just love, with no where to go

The stars aligned for my baby

Spirituality. Religion. Atheism. Agnostic. Reincarnation. The list goes on and on. Everyone believes in something, whatever that something is differs from person to person. That’s our human right. I think it’s amazing. I’ve never really fully understood where I fall in those categories. Killian’s passing has really changed how I think about the taboo subject. … Continue reading The stars aligned for my baby