Guilt after the death of a child

Guilt is such a powerful emotion. It can literally consume you if you let it. It will sneak up and make your stomach turn to ice. That anxious, creeping feeling makes it’s way up from your belly, through the shoulders, into your throat, and then into your head. It can literally make my lips tingle … Continue reading Guilt after the death of a child

Choices; In life and after death

Choices. Choices are a funny thing. Every choice you make is completely unique to you. You have at least two in every situation life throws at you. Lots of people have said that I’m coping with Killian’s passing well, that I’m a strong person. I don’t believe that I’m any stronger than anyone else. When … Continue reading Choices; In life and after death

October 13, 2018 “Calm before the storm”

Our big man is off the ventilator! He did great. He’s being given a low flow of humidified air to help keep his poor airway happy. He’s being great though. Quiet and uneventful is a good thing. He’s still being given antibiotics to make sure any infection is being taken care of. They’re slowly starting … Continue reading October 13, 2018 “Calm before the storm”

October 12, 2018 “The Gtube”

Big day today. Killian goes in for his gtube surgery early this am. A gtube is a feeding tube they goes directly into his stomach. This will allow us to remove the ngtube which has been going through his nose, into his stomach, since he was born. I really struggled with agreeing to this surgery. … Continue reading October 12, 2018 “The Gtube”