Six weeks since my baby died

Today marks six weeks. Six weeks since Killian died. As of tomorrow, he will have been gone longer than he was here. It’s surreal. It’s raw. It opens up some of those deep wounds that had begun to start to heal. I have missed my baby longer than I didn’t. I’ve look at his pictures … Continue reading Six weeks since my baby died

The depth of love after death

They say that you never really know how strong love can be until you have a child. I think that’s true. Once I had my boys I didn’t think that it would be possible to feel that love anymore than I did. Until I lost one of them. Don’t get me wrong, when you lose … Continue reading The depth of love after death

Infant and child loss…I am 1 in 4.

When people look at me they see a lot. Some may thing I look nice. Some may think I look unapproachable and cold. Some may think I look like I have all my shit together. Some may think I look like a hot mess. Funny, crazy, confident, strange, friendly, cold. When you look at anyone, … Continue reading Infant and child loss…I am 1 in 4.

Talking about grief, changing the stigma

Talking about grief. It’s not inspirational or even very positive, but it’s reality. Just like death and love, It’s something that everyone will experience in their life. Some grief is more overwhelming and encompassing than others. But we all deal with it to some degree. Since Killian died, I’ve been working so hard on trying … Continue reading Talking about grief, changing the stigma

Grief is like a rollercoaster

I clearly remember being younger and watching movies, or reading books, that something terrible happens in. Something traumatic. And I remember thinking to myself that I didn’t think I could survive something like that. That, for example, my child ever died, I would curl up in my bed and never get out. That I would … Continue reading Grief is like a rollercoaster