I am a mom. I love being a mom. And I consider myself a pretty good one (despite my consistent ability to burn grilled cheese). I love my children with every inch of my heart. The ones beside me, and the ones that are not. But that’s not all that I am. Losing my son, … Continue reading I am more than a Mom
You know what I just did? I got into a bath, with a bag of chip and cold beer. At 1 o’clock in the afternoon. I looked at pictures of my baby boy who I was supposed to outlive and I cried. And now I write, because writing has become a huge ally in this … Continue reading Giving permission for SelfCare
I’ve thought long and hard about sharing this picture. It was taken in the final moments of Mr. Bean’s life. He had just been unplugged from all of his machines, his IV’s and tubes removed, and he was placed in our arms. There were probably 30 doctors and nurses standing around his bed. The PACT … Continue reading The Day my Baby Died
Christmas and New Years are a blur to me right now. Although I can honestly say that I had a wonderful holiday with my family, it was a little harder than I anticipated. I think that because I never had Killian through a Christmas, I didn’t expect to miss him as much as I did. … Continue reading The Holiday season with out my child.
Experiencing grief as a child must be indescribeable. For most of the kids who experience grief first hand, the amount of confusion, fear and anxiety must be very difficult to process. We all know that kids are constantly learning, that they thrive on routine and predictablility. When death and grief invade a family, these "normals" … Continue reading When Children Grieve