To Killian, Love Mom

Dear Killian. Hi my sweet baby. I feel you around me so much. I feel your presence. I feel your sweet little spirit in so much that I do. You are my fox, my guide. You’ve taken my compass of life and completely spun it. Like a magnetic field. It’s still spinning and I’m not really … Continue reading To Killian, Love Mom

I am more than a Mom

I am a mom. I love being a mom. And I consider myself a pretty good one (despite my consistent ability to burn grilled cheese). I love my children with every inch of my heart. The ones beside me, and the ones that are not. But that’s not all that I am. Losing my son, … Continue reading I am more than a Mom

The never ending tide of Grief

They say time heals all wounds...I don’t know who “they” are, but they got it wrong. Time does not heal all. Just like all the heart warriors battling this beast, we as parents have deep and angry scars. To say we will heal is a flat out lie. We’ll patch and bandage and medicate, but … Continue reading The never ending tide of Grief

Grief…an unpredictable jerk

Man oh man, grief is unpredictable. It's such a learning process. Just when you think you're starting to get the hang of it, it will throw you for a loop. Grief hits you in waves, check. Grief is different for everyone, check. You will start to find a new normal, check. Expect to feel disconnected … Continue reading Grief…an unpredictable jerk

The Day my Baby Died

I’ve thought long and hard about sharing this picture. It was taken in the final moments of Mr. Bean’s life. He had just been unplugged from all of his machines, his IV’s and tubes removed, and he was placed in our arms. There were probably 30 doctors and nurses standing around his bed. The PACT … Continue reading The Day my Baby Died